When I was growing up, a boy that lived next door was chastised repeatedly for his aversion to all things, well, boy-ish.
When he was caught playing with dolls, or doing our hair (he was super talented too), his father would drag him outside kicking and screaming to play baseball with the boys.
I remember how frustrated I was that his father wouldn't let him play with us, and as I grew older, how angry I began to feel that he wasn't allowed to be himself. (For the record, he did experiment romantically with men later on in life and dealt with a lot of self-esteem and anger issues surrounding the way his parents viewed homosexuality).
Today, a few parents seem to be more understanding and accommodating when their children embrace non-traditional gender roles. Angelina Jolie famously came under fire for letting her daughter Shiloh (above) cut her hair and dress like a boy.
"It's not my choice," Jolie said of Shiloh's wardrobe of boy's clothes. "I have a very strong-willed four-year-old girl who tells me what she wants to wear and I let her be who she is...I want to do what's in her heart and what's in her heart is to dress like that. I think it's beautiful."Jolie had the same approach to Shiloh's hair: "Shiloh cried and said, 'Please cut my hair off, I don't want to have long hair,'" Jolie explained. "I'm not going to leave it long because somebody thinks I should."
Cheryl Kilodavis of Seattle feels the same. The mother of 5-year-old Dyson who wears dresses published a book "My Princess Boy," that has been receiving national attention. It was profiled in People Magazine and Cheryl and son recently appeared on NBC's "The Today Show."
Recently, Gwen Stefani also raised eyebrows when she let son Kingston get his fingers and toes painted.
It's a complicated dilemma parents face when their child wishes to cross dress. When you choose to let your child dress freely like Angelina Jolie and Cheryl Kilodavis did, you run the risk of criticism (and violence) from adults and children who disagree with cross-dressing. Also, there's a possibility that your child will grow older and become embarrassed by what you allowed them to wear.
Conversely, if you prohibit them from expressing themselves freely at a young age like my friend's father did, they can face a lot of pain and identity issues when they become adults.
What's your personal opinion about it? Would you let your son/daughter cross dress if that's what they deeply desired to do? How would you react if you saw a boy in a dress or a girl in a boy's tie? What affect will children who cross dress have on our society in the long run?
